Revenge of the Nerds

"Hey baby, lookin' sexy today," Chandler said to his girlfriend.

"Ugh, I'm not speaking to you, asshole...." Chandler's girlfriend motioned toward him all sassy. "You think I'm gonna speak to a jock like you. Ewww...." She turned away and place her palm in a 'speak to the hand' way.

"Abbey," Chandler said, "what's gotten into you?"

"Not you, if that's what you mean. Get out of here perv," she refused to make eye contact with him. "I'm only into 'nerds'" she made air-exclamation quotes to get her point across. "Now scram!"

"Does this mean we're breaking up?"

"Dude," Abbey said, " this mean we're more than broke up, we're no longer Facebook official." She pulled out her phone from her purse and began scrolling through it. "You can say bye-bye to our relationship in three..."

"Baby, wait!" Chandler pleaded.

"Two...."

"Don't do this!"

"One... Bye bye!" Abbey said and turned around walking to her car.

"What did I do wrong?" Chandler said. He pulled out his phone and called his best friend Luke.

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"Bae, you wouldn't believe what happened to Chandler today," Luke said walking into the door. He noticed his girlfriend was wearing a Star Wars tank top. "That's a nice look on ya Haley," he hopped onto the couch next to his girlfriend, "where did ya' get it?"

"It doesn't matter," she said, "what happenend to Chandler?"

"Abbey just fucking dumped him for now reason at all," he wrapped his arms around Haley, she brushed his motion off.

"Oh my god, really?" Haley asked, her voice was different, very valley girl like. "Why's that?"

"He has no idea, all he told me is that she said she's only into 'nerds' now," he made sure to use the finger quotes like Luke. "I have no idea what that means."

"Well, what a coincidence," Haley said, "because I'm also only into 'nerds' now," again using finger quotes. "You're too jokish for me, now get out of my house!"

"What the fuck, you too?" Luke couldn't believe it. "What's gotten into you girls?"

"We got a better taste in men obliviously. Now take a good look at these," she patted her breasts, "because this is the last time you're gonna get a good look a them. Now get out of my face!"

Luke was just as devistated as Chandler. One day Haley was madly in love with him, the next she was wearing a Star Wars tank top and insulting him. What the two didn't know was that their girlfriends were possessed by Henry (in Abbey's body) and Jim (in Haley's body), two 'nerds' the two jocks had bullied back in high school. Once they discovered a possession spell online the two had plotted towards an ultimate revenge scheme.

Clothes Shopping

"Can I help you miss?" A sales associate asked Norman.

"Yes please," Norman said.

"What can I help you with?" She asked.

"I'm looking for something that shows off my boobs. When I walk into a room I want the whole room to be like 'Damn, look at Chelsea's boobs. I wish I could tit fuck them.'"

"Uhh, well we have a good selection of low cut v-necks. With the right bra you can give your breasts enough lift to get cleavage."

"Nah, I don't like bras," Norman said. "They feel weird, plus aren't my boobs sexy when I do this?" Norman jumped up and down. "Aren't they just the best?"

"Are what the best?"

"My tits, well at tits in general. Your's are great too!" He said. "Can I give them a feel?"

"Have a nice day miss!" She said and did an about face.

"Isn't that what we girls do? Compare breasts? Here, you can feel mine first!" Norman began making a scene by playing with his breasts in the middle of the store.

The associate just groaned.

"That's cool," Norman shouted, "your tits were pretty small anyways." And he got back to his clothes shopping.

Volley Ball Practice

The bell whistled and Kyle attempted to spike the ball. The ball flew threw the air and hit the net. Another bell whistled, the play was incomplete. Kyle pulled upwards on his bra straps, there had to be a way to to stop the pointless jiggling of his breasts.

"Common Kyle, you wanna fill in for your girlfriend or what?" Vanessa, the coach shouted. "She's a top tier beach volleyball player and you're making her look like a freaking middle schooler. Get your act together!"

"It's these tits, they get in the way of every shot." Kyle said attempting to serve again.

"Boo fucking hoo," Vanessa blew the whistle again. "Did Amy cry to you when she won city championship with her breasts? Grow a fucking pair." Vanessa blew the whistle again, Kyle cringed. He was suspecting she only blew the whistle to piss him off. "Maybe if you wore the right bra to practice you'd have an easier time."

"Wait," Kyle whipped the sand from his cleavage. "you mean there's more than one kind of bra?"

Vanessa burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Kyle asked, his hand akimbo.

"You mean that Amy told you that there's only one kind of bra out there? You poor poor man," she continued laughing.

"Stop it!" Kyle said, Vanessa ignored him and blew the whistle again. Kyle cringed in response.

The Market Part 2

Part 1

"Congratulations on your new body and life Mr. Heinrich, or should I say Ms. Barton?"

James used all his self control to keep his voice down, he began frantically touching every part of his body to process the whole situation. "Thank you, thank you so much!" He said.

"Everything you need to know about your new life is in the bag," his old body said standing up. "There's a set of keys, a wallet, a phone, and an iPad with all the information you need about your new life."

All James could do was grin and nod his head, he was nothing but anxious to get back home and check out his new body. It was like Christmas Day all over again.

"If you need to contact me there's an email written in the wallet. Take care Ms. Barton," and the body swapper walked off in his old body. James hopped up, and noticed a new shift in his center of gravity. "Whoa, that's a new sensation." He said, "But I got plenty of time to get used to it." And the former man danced all the way home.

Jamie

"Ohhhh my goooddddd," Keenan exclaimed in a single breath. He was gasping like a sailor rescued from sea, his whole body trebled in one motion. "Holy shit!" He instinctively moaned.

He looked down to tow perfectly perky breasts. Beyond those breasts was another set of breasts, the face they belonged to was completely obscure to him, but he saw the body they belonged to being penetrated by a very girthy penis.

"Too much, too much," he screamed with very feminine lungs.

The woman beneath him pulled her face out, Keenan recognized her face, it was Natalia, his ex from long ago. "Is everything alright hun?" she asked, and moaned as she accidentally slid herself deeper into the man penetrating her.

Keenan collapsed, his head colliding with the wall on the way down.

"Jamie, are you okay?" A male voice rung in his ear. "Jamie?"

Keenan just lied there, sloutched against the wall, he could still see his perfectly perky breasts on his chest. Jamie, he thought, that was my ex's name. Am I really her?

"Jamie?" Both male and female voices rang. "Jamie, don't do this to us."

Keenan let them have their fun. As far as he knew, this was the weirdest dream he had ever had in his life.

Super Hot

"Oh my gawd, did you see that super hot chick that just passed by?" Nathan pulled off his sunglasses and bit them by the arm. "Jesus, what I'd do to tit fuck her right now."

Jim looked at the woman in the red polka-dot bikini that passed the two. She was with two other women, one in a blue striped one piece and another women in a pink bikini not unlike the one his friend was wearing. "Yeah, she's pretty hot."

"Pretty hot doesn't even cut it," Nathan shifted his gaze towards her. "I'd take my dick back right now just to tit fuck her right now. Fuck, having a vag sucks!"

"Shhh," Jim hushed the former man. "Don't drawl attention to yourself. Plus if you wanna be tit fucked so badly why don't you ask you friends?"

"You're such a pig," Nathan said tucking his sunglasses in the gap of his bikini. "I'm not gay." He nudged his friend. "How much do you wanna bet she's a les?"

"I bet ya $50 she's not a les."

"Deal," Nathan extended his hand. Jim reluctantly shook it. Jim shoo his ex-male friend's famine hand. "You're gonna pay for it, every women would die for this body!" He said approaching the three women. All Jim could do was work his hardest to hide his erection. Ever since his best friend transformed into the hottest woman he had ever met nothing had been easy.

The Market Part 1

"James Heinrich?" James heard a woman's voice behind him. He turned around and his jaw dropped.

"My god," James said. "She's even more beautiful than I thought."

"We're honest business men," she said, "the last thing we want is to disappoint our customers. Now follow me so we can close this deal."

James followed the woman to a more secluded section of the market. She sat down and retrieved a stack of papers and a clipboard from her bag.

"You at Tramma-, Tramo..."

"Tramoggia Corpo," she correct him.

 That's right. You guys at Tramoggia Corpo really love your paperwork," James said.

"The best ran companies need a well written contracts and a good record system," she handed the clipboard to James. "Now I'm sure you were briefed online about this, but in gist I need you to sign and initial where asked. If short we need you to officially sign off that you are taking full ownership of this body and life, and that we will not be held liable for any issues that happen to you after this transaction. Also, as soon as the transaction is finished we will have full ownership of your body and all the assets that come with it. Do you understand?"

"Is all of this really necessary, it's not like this is particularly... legal," he whispered legal under his breath.

"All great companies have things in common, we like to think of ourselves as existing outside of the normal market."

James flipped through the paperwork, signing and initialing where needed. Once he got to the final page he sighed and look up.

"Having second thoughts?" She asked.

James sighed. "You know, I spent nearly fifty years of my life wishing I had a body like that. I never felt right in this body, but I spent 48 years of this life as a male. I can't believe it's going to change at the signing of my signature."

"Does your family approve of your purchase?"

"No family," James said. "Twice divorced, no kids, my parents even passed away last year. It's just me now."

The woman gave James a moment to reflect. This wasn't uncommon for people who bought a new body and life, so she gave him a second.

"But holy shit, after seeing the body in person I cannot wait," James signed the final line in the contract.

Instantly upon signing he saw his old middle aged body beside him. "Holy fuck!" He let out a high pitch sequel. "It worked!"

Upfront

"Why the fuck are you wearing that shirt Matt?" Tony asked the woman.

"Hey man," she said, "I only got 48 hours in Heidi's body. I gotta be upfront if I want to have all the sex I want."

"You don't need to be upfront at all with a body like her's, you could go up to any dude anywhere and straight up asking 'Hey, wanna fuck?' and he'd pound you, no questions asked."

"Hey, wanna fuck?" Matt sensually touched his friend. Tony felt his pants grow tighter. Matt laughed, "I guess you're right!" He pulled his hand back and began walking to the convertible. "No time for stalling dude, because we're gonna get tons of bitches and bring the party back here. Drinks are on Heidi!" Matt hopped over the convertible's into the driver's seat. "Are you coming?"

"Uhh yeah," Tony awkwardly adjusted his pants while walking to the car and sat down next to his friend.

"Now, are you ready for the hottest two days of your life?"

Island Vacation

"Thank you Mommy for the Doritos!" Jeff said reaching for the bag.

"You're welcome sweetie, but I actually got them for Jeff," Jeff's mom said.

"Oh silly me," Jeff said reaching into the Doritos bag and grabbing a bite, "I forgot about him. Why don't you go on with daddy and hit the waves? I'm gonna sit here and work on my tan." Jeff munched on a handful of Doritos and wiped the dust on his bikini.

"That sounds perfect Shelby," Jeff's mom kissed him on the cheek. "Just be sure to mind you table manners."

Jeff's mom retreated into the ocean with his father. Behind his sunglassed eyes the former teen boy snacked on the bag of Doritos in front of his sister sitting across from him, after each bite he whipped the dust on his breasts.

"Isn't this just the best island vacation?" He asked leaning back into his chair.

All Shelby could do was face her brother eye to eye in her beach chair. Jeff had done plenty of pranks to embarrass her, but this was the last straw.

Five Guys

"Ugh, This is so fucking embarrassing," Jerry fiddled with his order number.

"Why do you say that?" Michael asked in his best defense to hide his erection. Jerry hadn't noticed yet.

"Every fucking guy who walks in here is staring directly at me," Jerry said adjusting his breasts. "Can I borrow your shirt?"

"Uhh no, the AC is really cold in here. You snooze you lose dude."

"Not cool dude. If I wasn't hungry as fuck I'd kick you straight in the balls," Jerry scratched an itch on his breasts. "Fucking dammit, stop looking at me man. I didn't ask to be in this body, fuck I didn't even want to be in a bikini today, but you Mr Genius decided we should to out for a swim to take my mind off the whole situation. You fucking pig. This is my sister's body, and once she gets back from her summer vacation in my body, to remind you, I'm going to be dead in the water. So give me your fucking shirt!"

"Order number 43, you order is ready," the intercom said.

"And who paid for your burger man?" Michael asked. "Just let me eat a burger in front of your sister's tits once and I'll leave you alone, in her body or not."

"Jesus Christ, you're the worst...." Jerry tried to obscure his cleavage. "Just give me my fucking hamburger."